Here I am in my father-in-law’s front room, surrounded by photos of his boys in gowns, (ha! Not that sort of gown! that would be a cartoon to do, but no scanner at hand, sadly) in various degree ceremonies. For even unto darkest Kerry I have come, an incredibly lengthy train journey (it would take less time to go to another country altogether, like say, the USA), to see the JB and his Dad. It’s one of those linear Irish towns, his hometown, built as if on a ledge between the side of a mountain and a tidal river, and prone to gloomy dark rain.
This afternoon we went out and walked along the hill behind the town, and back through the terraced houses. We passed one spooky, grey, semi-abandoned one, and the JB regaled me with a story of how a mad man used live there. The mad man used to forget to take his medication and get up on top of his house and be mad! And there was another, wherein a “shiner” used to live.
A shiner? I said, puzzled. (Did a huge black eye live in the house? Or someone who cleaned shoes for a living?) What’s that?
You know, a shiner, he answered. Someone who, you know, exposes himself to people. He used shine all around town!
I thought about this.
A flasher, you mean?
Pause.
Oh yeah. A flasher.
The JB has a PhD, for Gawd’s sake. He has published a ton of papers. My latest hypothesis about this strange and wonderful JB, is that he reserves all his brain power (every brain cell, yes, I do mean all of them) for his research. It’s a bit like living with a very nice Martian, sometimes. Not so long ago, I witnessed him picking up a packet of cocoa, peering at it, and saying slowly KOH-KOH-AH.
He’ll be the death of me, by laughter.
A shiner. That really tickled me (and will henceforth be my preferred term for men in macs with a tendency to flaunt their assets). More JB-isms please.
Posted by: Womb For Improvement | October 30, 2009 at 09:52 PM
I've been giggling about that on and off since I first read it last night. 'Shiner'. Fabulous. Your JB sounds absolutley adorable.
I have a few PhDs and assorted academics in my family, and yes, they are all completely on Planet Research. Especially the boys. The girls seem slightly more able to focus on this world. I remember Christmas/Hanukah shopping with Uncle Herr Doctor Doctor Professor one year when I was just a kid, and him stopping in Woolworths to hold up a tree bauble by its little metal hook and saying, slowly, 'what on earth is this for? Is it an earring?'
Posted by: May | October 31, 2009 at 09:59 AM
Haha HA! that is fantastic, an earring!
I love the involuntarily funny. They kill me.
The JB was all pleased when I read your comments out to him. Aw. Thanks for appreciating the old boy. Plenty more where this came from!
Posted by: Twangypearl | October 31, 2009 at 04:48 PM
Ah sure that's Kerrymen for you ;o)
(Don't mind me, I'm a bitter and twisted Mayo woman!)
Posted by: Jane | October 31, 2009 at 07:32 PM
"he used shine all around town!"
Fantastic. I'll be stealing this phrase:)
In return, I'll offer one of my mother's: "that tea is weak as the piss of Parnell's poodle"
Posted by: QoB | November 01, 2009 at 03:34 PM
oh, I'm with the JB! cocoa is just too weird, in Dutch it is cacao!!! How did that happen?!
But goes together well with gloomy dark rain-y days...
Posted by: Valery | November 02, 2009 at 08:31 AM
Hi Valery! Yeah, isn't English full of mines, tripwires and trapdoors? When in an earlier part of My Illustrious Career I was an English as a Foreign Language teacher (really an excuse to live it up in Italy) there were so many times I had no better answer for my class than:
"Why? Because that's just the way it is."
Posted by: Twangypearl | November 02, 2009 at 04:59 PM
Seriously? I used to live in Italy!
Posted by: May | November 03, 2009 at 11:44 PM
Ma sul serio May! (..Maggio?)
You too, funny thing, eh?
I frequented the discos in Pavia, and taught very little English to signore pavesi, for 4 years. And you? Would love to hear.
Posted by: Twangypearl | November 04, 2009 at 10:11 AM