polish

A phenomenon has occurred. Previously perfectly content to live in my own grime, I showing signs of being, well, the only expression is: house proud.
!!!
It started with the discovery of a microfibre cloth and a single tile and now, I find I really, really like the gleaming! I know! Odd as it seems, it makes me happy when things shine. I spent a long happy time sorting out our bookshelves last weekend:



It was just so much fun.

I can only conclude this is a new type of nesting. Previously my nesting activity took the form of painting and decorating but now it seems that in some deep part of my subconscious I believe that our child may arrive next Tuesday, complete with white gloves to test the surfaces with, and a preference for novels being stacked with other novels, not comic books, nor travel books, for instance.

Be that as it may, I have been feeling a bit glum off and on. This time last year I was pregnant, and I don't even know how to describe it, but the way the air smells reminds me so much of how I felt last year at this time. A natural anniversary, I suppose.

Sigh. Sigh. It's not a deep gloom, I have to say, it's the kind where you can be jollied out of it by a joke or a coffee with a friend. Or a piece of cake, that would do it. But I do hate the way it seeps into my general attitude, and I start to have gloomy thoughts about work, and related (in)eptitude, and wake up in wee small hours to feel crap and straight-faced about things.

How about you? How are you sleeping? Tell your aunty Twangy.
T

Comments

[manymanymoons]

I am so with you on the cleaning and organizing. Once I get it in my mind that things should be a certain way I HAVE to make them that way.

Isn't it funny that a certain smell or time of the year can take you back to some time or place. It's hard because it can happen without warning and then there you are with all those feeling rushing back in.

[bunny]

*Hands you a coffee* *Hands you a cake*

What do you call a baby swallow?
.
.
.
.
.
.
A chew.

A little glum sounds so completely fair. I can only presume to imagine how many triggers there are for last year's memories. I'm sorry for the sadness that must be there. Do remind yourself that it's got nothing to do with your work or self or the future--I'm subject to gloom myself and it helps if I can keep it from seeping into every last corner of my world.

I too have a beloved mircofiber cloth! And I find cleaning and tidying very therapeutic. And I love your little organizational drawers (on the left). Are they filled with the art supplies you use to make your magical things?

[Twangypearl]

Ah! A chew. Thanks, bunny. I feel better already.

I think we have some cash in the drawers, some passports and documents (Let's assume no stalker/burglars are reading). And a hammer or two.

I must show you my studio. Have I got some art supplies.(!) It's quite frightening.

[Adele]

Beautiful, gleaming shelves! Well done on the organization, and I think it truly is an aspect of nesting. How I hope that your child's arrival is imminent. His/her white gloves will clearly remain spotless.

The glumness. It's hard. And, I suppose, impossible not to experience. I have a much harder time with "times of year" than with actual dates. I'll remember such-and-such walk, or the sun shining on so-and-so day. It's very hard, Twangy. And still so very recent.

(Honestly, I don't think I've slept well in three years!).

[Hairy Farmer Family]

Oooo! Interesting bookshelves! I love Interesting Bookshelves!I wants to come and examine them!

I'm sorry that you're not feeling top of the pops, lovey. You are one of that small class of people whom I very much want to feel Super Nice & Sparkly all the time, and I feel sad that I can't make it happen, damnit. If you were within reach, I would palliate the shit out of the gloom with copious - COPIOUS! - amounts of cake.

MY sleep? Awful, but only because I have hit a seam of uncommonly good books that are keeping me up until the small hours, so I have only myself to blame, as usual...

[May]

Ooh, ooh, can you come and do my shelves next? No? Damn. Worth a try.

Hugs anyway. And cake. Delicious cake. Take HFF's cake. She's GOOD at cake.

I can't be having with this 'sleep' you speak of. How will I fit all my worrying in if I sleep?

[Andie]

*Settles Aunty T on the comfy couch and hands her nice cake and hot coffee served in the good china*

Oh, I do so understand! The glumness. The triggers. I can't think about being in the City last year without thinking about...July.

Most excellent work on the shelves and cleaning, I love the shelves! Am off to do a spot of cleaning myself soon.

As for sleep - badly. I am a light sleeper so everything wakes me up. That is when I eventually get to sleep. Too much brain activity. Sigh.

[a]

Glum is understandable. I wish you didn't have any unpleasant anniversaries to encounter...

But, cake is a food antidote. Also, cleaning and organization always bring a sense of accomplishment, which combats the glum. I am not a fan of microfiber cloths, though.

I have been sleeping pretty well, because I just had 5 days in a row off of work. Thank you ice and snow! So, instead of getting up at an unreasonable hour, I could get up at a less unreasonable hour. (My daughter likes to come in at 5:30 for bathroom breaks and to tell me to come and wake her up at 6:30).

I hope the JB brings you home some cake...wouldn't that be lovely?

[a]

Or cake is a good antidote, even.

[Womb For Improvement]

And there was I thinking this post was going to be about Eastern European immigration.

For the past couple of weeks I have had an unshakable desire to organise my books by colour ( http://www.colourlovers.com/home/blog/2008/01/25/organizing-bookshelves-by-color ) - I didn't put it down to pre-IVF nesting but maybe you've hit on something.

I am not surprised that this time of year is hard (it is hard normally just with it being winter and miserable), eat cake and don't berate yourself if you are not merry. But I hope it passes.

[Valery]

Oops, I started cleaning somebody else's house (HB) and now start worrying about the nesting thing...
Isn't it strange to remember the 'once I was pregnant'? Sometimes I can hardly believe it happened at all, sometimes I feel that I didn't believe in it enough.
I will be baking mini muffins this weekend and email you one, okay? Or shall I try that new cupcake store (yes, we finally have one!)

[Bionic Baby Mama]

i don't suppose we could convince you to visit -- and heck, bring that cloth along if you like! i'm sure we could rustle up something for it to do....

i'm sorry about the smells. smells are the worst (and best) reminders. so powerful and so difficult to avoid when you'd like to.

xxx
ooo

[conceptionally challenged]

I'm sorry about the reminders, and hope that you'll find a friend for some coffee and cake.

As for the polishing, I claim I'm too busy. My kitchen is a mess :o For similar reasons, I fall into bed much too late, but then at least I sleep fairly well. Thanks for asking :)