The Christmas

To my amazement I am ready for what in this country we call The Christmas. (See also: Did you get over The Christmas?). Normally I am prepared for The Day around mid-January but this year, items lept into my hands wherever I went, and only the chislers* remain on the list, while they, the chislers, are deliberating. (Not how it went InMyDay, I can tell you.)***

I have even done a bit of festooning.

(The rest of the house remains unadorned, mind you.)

The plan for the 25th is coming together, albeit with some awkwardness. This is the thing: the JB doesn't want to spend it with Brother's partner's family, who, while Perfectly Nice, are too multitudinous and noisy and in their very kindliness, remind him of all he has lost. He simply wants to hang out together in our little house with the cat, the DVD player, new books, and a large quantity of food. I understand this, but worry that my parents will get concerned/offended if we tell them we want to spend The Day at home in Dublin. So. We have these options, and they mostly involve lying**:

• Tell them we are heading to a hotel in Galway or somewhere for a change, but skulk in Dublin, like criminals. Risk running into a member of the Brother's partner's family, and horrible embarrassment, not to mention making it look much worse than it actually is.
• Tell them we are going to Kerry to the JB's house. (We could actually go to Kerry, but it's like travelling to another planet, it is so distant, and I'd miss visiting my folks on the days after The Day.) Have to answer questions about the weather in Kerry, the busy-ness of the roads, the quietness of the house, and invent plausible responses. Get migraine just thinking about it.
• Tell them the JB can't bear all the bonhomie, (these people are JUST TOO FRIENDLY) at Brother's and expose us to Worrying About His Mental Health, The State of Our Marriage and the Bringing About the End of the World

Is there something I am missing, I wonder? If you have any notes to compare or indeed magic solutions, I'd be very happy to hear them. Maybe I could just tell my mother? She'd understand... but then be in the awkwardness herself, with the lying.

OH I DON'T KNOW. Am I overthinking it?

T

 *People under the age of 10, though in Dublin only, as far as I know.
** Arg. I am as devious as the next person, but I am not the most efficient liar. All that keeping straight of the story. Arg, I tell you.
***News just in! Dazzle wants a colouring book. Aw! Love that kiddy.

Comments

[Bionic baby mama]

As a terrible liar, I advise the truth. It has its difficulties, but the anxieties of the other way are, for me, far worse.

The festoonage is a wonder, it really is.

And I thank you very kindly for the gifts in this post of new language. I do so love it.

[Andie]

Your house looks lovely.

Ah, The Christmas, best avoided at all costs, in my view. JBs version of The Christmas is basically what we do every year.

However. I agree with Bionic. I would opt for The Truth. You could:
1. Politley explain to Brother's family that extended family is all a bit too much for the JB this year; and
2. See if the JB is willing to have just your parents as a compromise. Then explain to your Ma and see if they could come to you (or vice versa perhaps) - even if it is not for the whole lunch/dinner etc but for a nice civilised afternoon.

Whatever you decide, I am thinking of you and yours and wishing you all the best for the season.

[a]

I like option 3 - the truth is always the easiest story to tell.

How strange - chislers in my idiom are cheaters/people who skimp. At any rate, who cares what they want? Art supplies are never out of style!

[Valery Valentina]

Wonderful for being ready. For the first time I have allowed/wanted a tiny tree in our tiny house. And am willing to go with the other pagan rituals as well.
I agree with the option of telling your Ma about not feeling up to a full-family-dinner and inviting them over for something short duration.
Or maybe just go over to your brother for the gift-giving part of it all?

[May]

We told the truth, the years we had to skulk in the bat-cave. 'It's all too much, this time of year is really painful, it needs to be just us, we'll see you for New Year'. H's family now treat us with The Gloves of Kid, in case we leap up like stags and gallop madly away, which frankly is FINE BY ME. My mother bless her alternates between 'well, you're grownups, you can do as you please' and 'wouldn't it be lovely if we all went skiing together and you sisters all shared a room just like when you were kids?' Um.

But it's fine. Truth is fine. I send hugs.

(Bruce is settling in on the bookshelf MAGNIFICENTLY).

[Dr Spouse]

Same here - Mr Spouse's first Christmas without his mother, who recently we have been taking out for Christmas lunch. We have gone on Christmas strike and I have been using him as a buffer. I am finding it is slightly better to have a rude husband ("I can't control him!") than be rude myself.

[Dr Spouse]

I should add that my family seem to have decided that small babies are not a good enough excuse and that I'm just being dramatic and should just randomly travel around and leave baby with anyone and everyone - they think babies are parcels to be left on doorsteps when convenient.

[bunny]

Oh, I so love your festoons! I want to make some beautiful festoons, too! I'm very glad things fell into place without too much suffering.

I dunno. I think The Truth, because after all, people deserve to know that sometimes you aren't feeling The Christmas. Probably they will mind less than you think. I hope?