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December 13, 2013



Shelve it and pull it out when you want to reminisce. After all, it is a repository of memories of a sort. Put all your current addresses on the computer, and put that thing away.

Alternatively, you could get a handy address book like the one I have - it has individual slips of paper that can be removed, so you don't have to look at old addresses.


I agree--keep the Object, because it's meaningful. But perhaps it's time to CULL. It seems like a good moment to cease to be troubled by those relationships. As if one can just DO that.

I love a paper address book, because I like paper mail, and paper and paper go together. Mine is in the back of my tiny little filofax, which is a kind of calendar that comes in a binder, and you keep the cover and replace the contents every year. Every year I update the addresses on new adorable tiny sheets of three ring paper, because the crossed out ones for dead people are too depressing. I used to do this by hand, but now have a tiny formatted list that I update on the computer and print out and cut into pages and punch tiny holes in.

Mostly, I admire the fact that you've got these rich layers of dusty and defunct relationships. I think it says something good about you, like that you've touched a lot of people (in a non-pervy way) and lived a lot of places and ...now this is sounding like your obituary.


I don't have any helpful ideas, I am afraid, but I do find it very sad looking at all those old addresses.

I think I would perhaps get a nice new paper address book and put the current addresses in, keep the old one just in case.


I don't really know anything about letting go, except perhaps that moving far away tends to make this easier. But unfortunately you'll also be far away from those you wanted to be friends with. Le sigh.

Midnight memorial burning somehow seems appealing to me, but I suspect the other commenters above are right and keeping it, tucked away on a shelf, is the better idea in the long run.


You are wise people. I will keep it but somewhere less visible to be looked at when the correct mood strikes.

First I must transcribe the live addresses. And do a little light pruning.

This is good. I feel better. Thank you.


Oh GOD, you just captured perfectly the ordeal I went through tonight. I too have a 15 year old address book, with many defunct and crossed out addresses. In my case, I actually have the current addresses of people I rarely speak to anymore (not necessarily by my choice) and I have been waffling about whether to send them cards or not. This must be why I rarely send out Christmas cards anymore...

At least I'm not alone in my despondency--that's helpful. :-)


So we're all having the same Christmas ANGST. Oy also vey. I shall set fire to my address book, so I shall. MIne made me cry my eyes out this year. Which is very very embarrassing, but it is alas very very true.


*nods furiously in agreement*

Mine is called The Good, The Bad, and (in very small font on the back cover) The Ugly. At least 10 years old, probably more.


Not embarrassing, May - indeed, OY + VEY. (I have a Jewish great great grandmother, you know.)

These address books need to go to the drawer no one visits, at the very least.

Valery Valentina

So um, just using the return addresses on the cards that you receive is not the polite thing to do?
(It could be the reason we get fewer cards each year...)

Valery Valentina

And one more um, we have moved. and we haven't exactly sent out the new address to anyone.
This might not go well...
o dear.

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