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July 2006

The Day After

I am still processing all the ups and downs and emotions of the day. It's as if the writing part of my brain is not getting enough oxygen because it's all being eaten up by the background processing.. duh. Verrrryyy sloooooo  oooow.

But all went well. I enjoyed the church bit most, it was calm and nice in there, I liked kneeling on the red carpet. I felt part of a bigger process but in a comforting way. The Rector was reassuring and helped us along the way, and it was nice to see Flossie and Da and Bryan reading.

My father had quite a quake in his voice as he read. Oh the irony of hearing him read "Love is patient" was too rich, (and Gar teased him about the mad rants he'd go on over the loading of the car) but in fairness, he was great and made tremendous efforts to be a good host and kind to all. Gar was great with everyone, even taking an interest in the PA system in the church, and perhaps was a bit touched too, (but in a proper manly way) and Fleur was great company for everyone,and Guy was so sweet. He had a little picnic in the church and made friends with everyone (handing Ber brooms, twice, had he a point to make?) and walked around "with his legs under him" in quite the confident manner. Smokey made his presence felt with a ear-splitting screech, and Jenny (you have to love her) bit Paul subtly in the pocket through the fence while he was taking our photos. Paul was great too, very enthusiastic and funny. His presence was reassuring.

JB and I felt quite tired and emotional after. These rites bring up other family stuff, I suppose. JB and his Dad missed his mother badly. I do feel for him, although of course I have no real inkling what that might be like.

Like I say, brain like mush. Too much processing going on in background. CPU overloaded. Will write with a bit more sense later.


Ros came back from NYC

where she has hobnobbed with a Cosby and made a ton of work. It seems to have been a exciting and intense experience. We met for a drink in Havana, a cool tapas bar in Grantham St. I told her a bit about My Issues With What's Okay (in a relationship), and she was great, and gave me some very practical advice which, along with these flowers, (beauties!)



I took home and with the Lovely JB sorted out a system that will allow the JB to have enough chattery time and me to have enough peace and quiet. JB and I did another chapter of our book (Terms of Engagement) which amazingly and appositely was about styles of communication. (Universe making point here?) I feel much happy about it, things are clearer and expanding, possibilities abound and there is air to breeeeathe.

The parsley did the trick too! I really should become a witch and live in the middle of a wood. I could heal passing hedgehogs and lame ducks.
 

One day, dear reader, one day.


the Irish Flag and mutual support and comfort

>[13:03:43] ecogeeko says: still no action on the other front. sigh.
[13:03:54] ecogeeko says: will turn green if I eat any more parsley
[13:04:07] JB says: There are carrots in the fridge
[13:04:23] ecogeeko says: your point is..?
[13:04:36] JB says: a living Irish flag
[13:04:59] ecogeeko says: is what I suspected you were thinking allright
[13:05:13] JB says: Any discomfort?
[13:05:46] ecogeeko says: the mousse looks good babe
[13:06:13] JB says: How does it taste?
[13:06:20] ecogeeko says: no idea, I wouldn't eat the mousse without you, no no. not even in an invisible kind of way
[14:09:02] JB says: I'll look at a more healthy recipe this evening
[14:09:27] ecogeeko says: ah well. that can wait until sept, doncha think
[14:10:05] ecogeeko says: we'll have to empty the fridge on monday so floss is not assailed with a stink when she comes to water the plants
[14:10:06] JB says: I guess, but I must admit I found it fun last night.  You can direct, and I'll do the business
[14:10:29] JB says: True, true
[14:10:46] ecogeeko says: are u in dcu
[14:10:50] JB says: Would you like some ginger cookies from Starbucks?
[14:10:57] ecogeeko says: where everybody knows your name
[14:11:07] JB says: Yes, and yes they do.
[14:11:21] ecogeeko says: no, better not Koo. we have a lot of mousse to eat after all
[14:11:36] JB says: And if they don't I just walk up to the strangers and say "I'm John!"
[14:11:58] ecogeeko says: so after that they DO know you, even if they avoid you
[14:12:13] JB says: avoid?
[14:12:23] JB says: why?
[14:12:32] ecogeeko says: you know when they swerve when they see you?
[14:12:38] ecogeeko says: and go the other way?
[14:12:57] ecogeeko says: that's avoiding
[14:12:58] JB says: Oh, that.  I just run after them then, waving as I go
[14:13:17] JB says: saying "I'm John, John, don't you remember?"
[14:13:37] ecogeeko says: yes. you may find that's a path to restraining orders
[14:14:04] JB says: But then I tell them "I love them" and that is sure to win them over
[14:14:23] ecogeeko says: or not. must have a go at service booklet thing
[14:15:11] JB says: I'm going to read over our section in a little while.
[14:15:30] JB says: I'm going off to Gary and Bob in a few minutes with F
[14:16:53] ecogeeko says: good idea. and if there's any mention of obeying me, just remember, obey means "relax" when it's said in church
[14:17:10] ecogeeko says: i hope F doesn't lose the head!
[14:17:27] JB says: Me too, its been f this and f that all morning
[14:17:44] ecogeeko says: oh blimey! rather you than me.
[14:18:00] ecogeeko says: the true sentiment of marriage
[14:18:04] JB says: Yes, he's really hot today
[14:19:03] ecogeeko says: oh no! good luck J. Don't get drawn into it. we don't want Bob ritually washing his hands of you or saying you're dead
[14:19:12] ecogeeko says: talk later. xxx
[14:19:17] JB says: I'll see you later so love xxx


JB and the Mousse au chocolat



Doesn't it look delicious?

There was only one hairy moment when separating yolks and whites. The JB tried to do this by poking a hole in the side of the egg. Apart from that, he was utterly at home and in control. Anthony Worrell-Thompson, how are ya.


I am in a great mood

or shall we call it happy? this is interesting (to me, but you feel free to be bored to tears, non-existent reader): I think I've confused the two in the past. I wonder if I am a touch bi-polar sometimes. The ups are deliriously exciting, everything is possible, everything is funny, it feels vertiginous, like falling in love, all is optimism, confident resilience and jokes. Life takes on a fascinating wide-screen epic hue. The downs are characterised by a lack of patience, a grimness, and an absent sense of humour, (and their bedfellow, who likes them so much he never goes out without them (or never gets out of bed with them?), and that is, guilt). It's a lack, rather than a presence. Lack of confidence, lack of ambition, lack of curiosity, lack of colour.
The thing is they are self-perpetuating, while you are in them, they spiral.

I think that might have been a revelation. I am a chemical sister.


Adolescent obsession

with a song:
Saints and sinners: Paddy Casey (not the one that runs the bike shop in Cahirciveen)

Anyone can lose it all
Anyone can lose it all
If you don't heed your warnings call
Anyone can lose it all

Anyone can make a mess
Anyone can make a mess
Just take so much and make it less
Anyone can make a mess

When you got time and streets making saints & sinners
Ink on sheets making losers and winners
Well it's not what your dreams should be

Anyone can be a saint
Well anyone can be a saint
Well you just forget that you ain't
Well we can go and be a saint

Anyone can be a star
Well anyone can be a star
We'll just get in your car
And we can go and be a star

When you got time and streets making saints & sinners
Ink on sheets making losers and winners
Well it's not what your dreams should be

You know I wish we had more time
You know I wish we had more time
You know I think it was a crime
The things we wasted trying to not waste our time

When you got time and streets making ends for beginners
Shuffling feet on these losers and winners
Well it's not what your dreams should be

It's so sublimely simple yet of such heroically epic proportions. I love music, the ebb and flow of it, that way it can wrap itself around you and lift you off your feet.

Yes, I must remember I love music. Now I'll listen to it just one more time.


Cranki-osity

today. But I sweated it out at the gym, and feel quite pleasantly sedated now, with endorphins. I like endorphins. (The name reminds me of dolphins for one thing. I imagine them arc-ing through my bloodstream). Also I drank a soupcon of M&S chilled latte. Niiice. The consistency of Bailey's. Well, I say a soupcon but for me that was the nearest thing to a fatal dose of adrenaline injected straight into the heart. Caffeine. I love it, but it makes me doolally nuts and verrry over-excited.



Our web design job is going well. Today, (after the longest dry patch in the world), I hit on a nice simple design. Phew. Lisa has a whole concept ready to go too, so we are in okay shape.


Spike and his mother, Flossy

He did his usual circuit of the premises, checking all pilot lights and switches were in proper working order. He also took the time to test the bars on the French windows. They were solid.


July 16

And I feel AOK. This particular herbal remedy combo I am on seems really to be doing something. I am objective, amused. My mother and I walked down the lane today. She (although a sweet woman) was in the mood to complain about someone. We ran through a short list of friends, distant relatives and acquantances, she judging them to be "hopeless" or "awful" and I parrying her gamely, calmly observing that they had a good side, or weren't so bad. I can see this mormonism might have been a bit annoying now. She responded to my final determined attempt at looking on the bright side with what was (for her) an outburst: You're so pragmatic!

Funnily enough I can see the good side of this too. It's nice to be pragmatic.


The living is easy

He looks so much better than skeletal Smokey of last year. Even his neck has filled out. I look at him and am replete with maternal satisfaction.