My lies
recent work - rainforest designs

a week full of activity, movement and turning of corners

Dear Bots, I know you like to keep up. So:

1. The circle of life (new understanding thereof)
Without overloading you, Bots, with TMI, I let it be known that the e and the JB have turned a corner, that the e has been lurking around for these many years. My worries about the state of the planet, the state of me, my moods, etc, etc, have been playing on me exhaustingly as I tried to sort out whether or not we should (try to) have a child. I would lie awake at night, thinking about it - trying to weigh it up in some enormous philosophical equation -  when I finally realised that the only reasoning you can approach this with is pure instinct, the belief in love, in family, the belief in life and the meaning of that no matter what. And the belief that this life is part of another larger scheme of life.
I have a vision, now, of a family life, (perhaps golden-lensed) and I feel called to be brave and stand by it, and be in the game of life, and believe it is a life worth living, and be led by these primal forces I feel newly in me.
(And I have to say, the potentially b*by-m*king marital relations are so much more intimate and exciting than the other kind. I mean, when you can finally throw away the various forms of latex barriers and hormones.
Quite A Different Thing.)
As to what will happen, who can know? But it is good to be here and believe in this. It feels urgently the business of life itself.

2. As that song quietly hums along in the background, other more prosaic matters are at hand. The class chose a name: something in the w*res. My classmate, E, has designed the poster and I the site. It looks good I think. Everyone's work is very interesting.
I had a tutorial this week. The graffiti stuff seemed to go down well with our coordinator. My attitude is definitely that of having a lark.
I would put in a link but I hate when they expire over time. Well, anyway

3. Our House is approaching through the time tunnel at a gathering speed. JB went a bit white and rigid for a minute yesterday in the solicitor's office, as he bravely allowed his gaze to fall upon the huge figures involved  in a mortgage.

4. We saw The Lives of Others last night. It was really good, slow, atmospheric, with a real feeling of time and place and the plot turned perfectly without predictability back on itself. Really good.*****

5. I ate a nice salad in The J*y of Coffee. I am stuffing myself with vitamins/leafy vegetables in light of no. 1. (I am using a lot of those asterisks now things are getting so personal. Sprinkling them round like hundreds and thousands **AST*R*SKS**).

6. I felt 3% nauseous this morning. Probably over-tuned to it, but could you imagine, bots? if the Kerry sp*rms were that potent? However I don't see how. Was not even near to ovulation. This is so strange, turning all the habits of a lifetime on their heads! Previously I did everything I could to avoid the sp*rm and ovum getting acquainted.
But that is the arrogance of a middle-class angst-ridden westerner - to think she has the right to control.

7. Here's an image from the show:

It amuses me. (Although I am simple, of course).

8. Made a card for Flossie. Thought it was a personal but yet without monetary value thing to do. Don't want to pressurize her into reciprocating. Although biscuits are always welcome.

9. I have run out of stirring events.

10. Dinner tonight with friends and tomorrow hope to see Spike et al tomorrow. My little buddy!

11. Talked to AMF during the week on skype. It was so nice to talk to her.

12. Apparently Justin is leaving NJ Studio. He feels God wants him to. Must have changed a bit since I last saw him, or maybe that was just a  protective shell of slacker-sarcastic-charm. I wish him all the best, in any case. I always liked him.

13. Hoping Previously Friend from Italy won't be inspired to call me tomorrow. Might turn off phone just in case. She did send me a group email at Easter which wanted you to find fun in the slaughter of lambs. A pig is saying Happy Easter to the lamb, and the lamb is saying: Feck off.
I don't like that kind of thing much.
Got a lovely card from Willy though. She made it herself, it is so sweet. I was touched.

14. Going to have some breakfast now - Goji nuts and flaxseed, and oatibix - good for my dry-eyes. Today I have to do a bit of work for sc*ilnet - go to bank to get statement and go to gym maybe.
Tis verily a whirl of excitement.

15. A Year of Blogging has clicked by. So quickly! It's been great, Bots.


The comments to this entry are closed.