before and after
Menopause, the preview!


It is thus the life of a freelancer:
  1. the work comes all at once, so you go demented trying to get it all done, working like a maniac and becoming a husk of your real self,
  2. then you twiddle your thumbs for weeks, and take to making bets with yourself on the raindrops as they run down the window.
  3. Repeat steps 1 and 2

It's a law of nature. So it did not surprise when two jobs flooded in, (to paraphrase Terry Wogan), while my brain is still all fogged up and duuuuull after the anesthetic. Everything seems far far away, minute and incomprehensible. Thinking is like trying to thread a tiny needle with huge woolly-mittened giant's hands.

One was just a look and feel for a website. Quite easy and functional, and the other is an animated e-card for - let's see, what is it they call themselves? Oh yes, str@tegic online communic@tions and marketing consult@nts.* HA HA HA. (Mirthless guffawing). These are the people that out-source everything at the lowest possible price, and pass it all off as their work. A deal was struck, in any case, and off I went to work. Then the Business Development Manager (again, HA HA HA) in charge of the job rang me yesterday morning, to reverse out of the deal. Suddenly my price was huge and unaffordable, and she battled me down another 40%, whining how much "work they put our way" (veiled threat) and how it was "a lovely little job" for me.

I'd GRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrr, but, honestly, I haven't the energy.

Now I am waiting for them to get back to me on my storyboards, while I flop-brainedly try to think about things. Like how I should be ringing the ChildDr, to re-hear what she said after the operation. You would think a surgeon would know how pointless it is to explain anything to someone who has just come to after an anaesthetic. But no. All I remember is:

.. mpfff... a month or so, to let it settle down.. lullll.. and then a couple of months.. your own..mhmm.. zolasomething.. puhfffump..

Which could mean anything. The nurse told me to get a prescription for zola.dex, which, if the price (e100) and security involved is anything to go by, must be fairly potent stuff. The chemist told me I'd need to get it every month, and then I made the dire mistake of looking it up on the internet, which confounded my giant's mitts even more, since it makes all kind of references to nasty side-effects, and the fact it dampens your hormones so it can be used for some kinds of breast cancer and if you continue to menstruate while on it, you should inform your doctor.

What was that, again?


[trying to think]


Darkened room might be the thing now.

Till later


* Oops, just occurred to me now that I should perhaps disguise that.



Send me that firm's address and I'll run over and SMACK them, cheap gits, taking advantage of an anaethetised woman.

Also, taking zoladex every month? Really? Why? Surely it's used to down-regulate the ovaries before stimulating multiple ovulation with gonadotropins and there's NO WAY they'd do that every month. They usually only do it during full-blown IVF. Am I wrong? Am I iggerant? Definitely get the Child Doctor to tell you everything all over again. With diagrams and in writing.

(WHY do they bother talking to us at all straight after surgery? They're doctors, they should KNOW we're zonked).

Get well soon. Would send internet hugs only on condition that you don't find being sent internet hugs creepy and worrying.


Thank you May, you are kindness itself. They do need a smack.
Saw GP who explained this is most likely just a one-off to calm things down. Really looking forward to my month of menopause, as you can imagine. Will no doubt be moaning about it here at length. Hope your trip is AOK and will take any hug offered xx

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