life cont.
The cure

Luck be a laydeee

I prised the JB off his laptop yesterday and away down to take my parents out for lunch. I am in that
momentous mood, (anyone else ever feel like this?) where every moment seems gilt-edged, fleeting and full of poignancy. All that has gone on recently, with my Da's stroke, and my uncle's diagnosis, (and by the way Spike and Dazzle's other granny, whom we know well, also has had a re-occurrence of breast cancer, thankfully early-detected, so fingers crossed for her), has underlined, in quadruple, the shocking brevity of life. I am also painfully aware, that we are not a  long-lived family. Of my father's five siblings, only he and his younger sister are left (although, actually, I am not sure if The Unmentionable One, (the family Black Sheep. Have you got one in your family?) is still living. No way of knowing!

If this is grim, sorry, I don't intend that at all. What I want to say is that we sat together in the lovely restaurant and I just loved every minute as it passed. My parents were in great form, getting the giggles, and enjoying being there. 

(I am so sentimental. People sometimes mistake it for sarcasm but no, I actually am this soppy.)
(I am also a bracket-over-user. (Sorry about that. Must learn to punctuate)) .



One of the many curses of infertility is that it makes it impossible to consider the undoubted trials of
parenthood coolly, with a dispassionate eye. Such discussions are hard. The JB and I dare not talk about parenting styles, names or schools, out of some dark superstitious fear that somehow the considering itself will mean we'll never be parents.
(Mad, I know).

When every mention of an imaginary child compels you to perform a complicated, evil-eye repelling, genuflecting, knocking on wood, crossing digits, please God-ing (JB), saluting magpies ritual that risks leaving you with a slipped disc, at the very least, you tend to just avoid the entire thorny subject. So many things go unsaid.

And so I have invented this handy device which encompasses all the above. When I invoke the token, we can take the above ritual as read. Okay? I hope you are with me on this. It's inspired by an ancient fertility symbol, as you can see.


For instance, I'd like to:

Send our child to an non-religious school.
Make up stories and pictures for our child.


Make/knit our child clothes (Like my mother did for me. They were lovely. Of course this might be a stretch. Might be better to stick with the stories and pictures).


Play board games together.

Play dress-up, make local friends-of-family, have dinners together, have corny family jokes, have a family life, be a family.


Well, now. That is not for the faint of heart, but not bad for a start. Might have to have a sit-down now, and a stiff whiskey.

Your nervously-wrecked,

PS. On a less self-centred note, I hope none of you has been affected by the floods..?  Very worrying.


Womb For Improvement

I need your vodoo doll thingamajig. i have raw knuckles from knocking on wood.


My husband likes to draw little cartoons and sometimes he would endow them with powers (such as the little wizard who keeps the most contemptible supervisor away from my work area. I will not take that drawing down). So perhaps your fertility/good luck/anti jinx/curse/bad luck guy should be hung prominently in your home. I hope he/she works.


WFI, I understand completely. What a malarky, eh? I didn't even know I was superstitious!
Emailing you one so you can print out and scare people with it.


Ah you see, a! I am not the only one! Your husband must be a very wise and sensible fellow.
Thanks for your good wishes.


O dear, -ancient fertility symbol- and I don't have a clue! Better run and put my moonstone necklace on again... Considering to engrave your symbol at the back of it. (not sure if it would feel any less alien though)

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