on the butler


Hello dear friends, and hello to all the nice people coming over to visit from Lost and Found where kind Mel described my -em- condition in a way that perfectly reflected my state of mind.
I am still here. So far so good. Ferociously hungry, a bit crampy and nauseated (it's a strange turn of events when you greet every little wave of queasiness with an inner whoop of joy), but otherwise fairly normal-ish. I have calmed down quite a bit, thanks to the skillful subconscious-washing of these meditation mp3s, as recommended by PaleMother, who is really very clever. I am aiming for a what-will-be-will-be attitude that still allows a glimmer of excitement. After all, it is quite amazing we have got so far. So why not be happy? My being happy now will not make things any worse if things go wrong, or so little it won't make any difference.
All this is out of my hands.

I went intrepidly to the GP yesterday. She was nice, and acted like it was quite normal. (I was half-wondering if I'd imagined the whole thing. It happened to my friend's Border Terrier:

She had a phantom pregnancy. So why not me?)

But no, apparently it is possible. She even gave me a form to fill in so I can get something called combined care. The form required the following information:

FULL NAME: ____________

MAIDEN NAME: __________

..which is wrong in so many ways. What is it, 1953? I left mine blank in protest.

There is a slightly increased chance of an ectopic pregnancy because of my lap last September, so they are sending me in for an early scan. Arg. Blood pressure rising. Time for more meditation, perhaps. Breathing, breathing.

More later - the JB has landed a 5-year contract at his institution (associations with Victorian madhouses totally appropriate) - good news! and has morphed into a kind of excited, nervous butler, which is not so good. I will be needing guidance. Lots of guidance.

Till then, my friends,


Womb For Improvement

Early scan has to be good, you know to properly convince you it is happening. Best of lukc.


Thank goodness-I've been worried. Mustn't leave your fans hanging. Unless, you know, you don't feel like sharing. When's the scan?


Yea! I was hoping to see you here this morning. Glad you are hanging in and glad the mp3's turned out to be useful.

Hopefully in a couple of months, you will be feeling like ~infertility~ was the phantom instead of the pregnancy.

"After all, it is quite amazing we have got so far. So why not be happy?"

The worry never goes away, but if you can manage it, you deserve a little happy. Go for it.

The early scan will be good. Nerve-wracking before, but good after. Fun, even (see your own comments). How many weeks do you think you are? Heartbeat at sixish, sevenish. Once they see that, odds go up, up, up. I think we got the RE's benediction at that point.

"JB ... has morphed into a kind of excited, nervous butler, which is not so good."

:) Too funny. (I know, if I were you I wouldn't be amused either.)

Stay well!!



Thanks WFI. You have good sense, which is not common, but rare.
Thank you too, PaleMother. Just at 5-ish weeks now. So in another couple I suppose..? [Fingers extremely crossed.]
Sorry bunny! The days just kept going by, and I seemed to have lost the power of language. I don't know when the scan is - they are to call me and schedule or I am to chase them. Want to bet which is the more likely? Har!


Congratulations for JB on the 5 year contract. Hope it will be some backbone of security in these uncertain times.
-- If only we knew what Terriers phantoms were... ;)
-- gosh, butler. I suppose working out if any changes to diet are needed and remembering the folic acid is not keeping him busy enough?
-- yay for whoops of joy
-- so glad you are still here!


Early scans are good. Many scans are good. Reassuring. Glad to hear that meditation is helping.

Your friend's dog had a phantom pregnancy? How odd. Does she need antidepressants now?

Hurray for 5 year contracts (and excited, nervous butlers)!


fingers crossed!

how does a dog have a phantom pregnancy? the mind boggles. but I love the drawing:)


Oh, QoB, with lots of nest-making and even lactating, poor little thing. I felt for her, but she did recover, and is happy even without anti-depressants.


oh the poor wee dog. bless. now I'm wondering how that's treated, but I think Google will be my next stop:)


Isn't is weird, the way medical professionals insist on believing that IT'S ALL HAPPENING.

Congratulations and hurrah for JB!

Nervous butler - heh heh. H is just the same. I say, take MASSIVE ADVANTAGE while it lasts.

We had a cat who had three phantom pregnancies (making nests, mostly). After a while, she'd realise there were no kittens and she'd take the nest to bits. It was very sad. Poor kitty. And then we'd catch her in the woodshed with next-door's gigantic tom cat and the whole thing would start all over again. In her case it was ridiculous because we'd had her spayed. TWICE. Just in case.

OK, now I'm crying over your friend's dog and my old cat.

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