Hello dear friends, and hello to all the nice people coming over to visit from Lost and Found where kind Mel described my -em- condition in a way that perfectly reflected my state of mind.
I am still here. So far so good. Ferociously hungry, a bit crampy and nauseated (it's a strange turn of events when you greet every little wave of queasiness with an inner whoop of joy), but otherwise fairly normal-ish. I have calmed down quite a bit, thanks to the skillful subconscious-washing of these meditation mp3s, as recommended by PaleMother, who is really very clever. I am aiming for a what-will-be-will-be attitude that still allows a glimmer of excitement. After all, it is quite amazing we have got so far. So why not be happy? My being happy now will not make things any worse if things go wrong, or so little it won't make any difference.
All this is out of my hands.
I went intrepidly to the GP yesterday. She was nice, and acted like it was quite normal. (I was half-wondering if I'd imagined the whole thing. It happened to my friend's Border Terrier:
She had a phantom pregnancy. So why not me?)
But no, apparently it is possible. She even gave me a form to fill in so I can get something called combined care. The form required the following information:
FULL NAME: ____________
MAIDEN NAME: __________
..which is wrong in so many ways. What is it, 1953? I left mine blank in protest.There is a slightly increased chance of an ectopic pregnancy because of my lap last September, so they are sending me in for an early scan. Arg. Blood pressure rising. Time for more meditation, perhaps. Breathing, breathing.
More later - the JB has landed a 5-year contract at his institution (associations with Victorian madhouses totally appropriate) - good news! and has morphed into a kind of excited, nervous butler, which is not so good. I will be needing guidance. Lots of guidance.
Till then, my friends,