self-portrait
August 26, 2010
Words cannot describe how much I detest drawing myself. I find the scrutiny of myself clenchingly, toe-curlingly mortifying. In animation college, we used to have to draw ourselves grimacing in mirrors to catch expressions, and striking attitudes in front of mirrors and it always caused me great irk. (Animators do a lot of acting Goofy. I mean that literally, acting like Goofy, Bugs et al. You couldn't get up the corridors in animation college without falling over students acting out their scenes. One of the second year projects was the Fat Skip and there they'd be, jumping imaginary ropes, as hammily as possible, being Poo-Bear or Baloo. It is a bit of a strange profession.)
The theory being, to draw it, you've got to feel it.
I've never been able to pull that off, when applied to myself. But as the residency approaches I really have to raise my game a bit, (hence previous post) to allow me to include autobiography in my mad creative plans. Nearly all the half-baked ideas I have in my head for book ideas are all about things that happened to me, and I need to be able to represent myself somehow.
Oh man. Cringe.
[I am amused to see that I have made myself thinner than in real life.]
As in art, so in life.
I am going through some stuff. Due date related stuff (it's not for weeks - tell that to my subconscious), mostly, also marital stuff and sundry other arising neuroses - I don't know where to start with it, it's all a dust storm, but I have to make some kind of sense of it all. Some clarity, or at least less grit in my eyes, would be very welcome. The ground feels shaky, all is weird - not all bad, oddly enough - but uncertain and I really want to be more normal, at some point.
So I am looking at local therapists names online, as encouraged by bunny. We do have some Find a therapist tools for Ireland, but these foolish people have not included IF as a specialty. I mean, really!
These people don't come with reviews, more is the pity. That would be so handy. Say a star system, like hotels? I'd like a good-ish one, nice and clean and with good views (groan). Three stars would be fine.
The theory being, to draw it, you've got to feel it.
I've never been able to pull that off, when applied to myself. But as the residency approaches I really have to raise my game a bit, (hence previous post) to allow me to include autobiography in my mad creative plans. Nearly all the half-baked ideas I have in my head for book ideas are all about things that happened to me, and I need to be able to represent myself somehow.
Oh man. Cringe.
[I am amused to see that I have made myself thinner than in real life.]
As in art, so in life.
I am going through some stuff. Due date related stuff (it's not for weeks - tell that to my subconscious), mostly, also marital stuff and sundry other arising neuroses - I don't know where to start with it, it's all a dust storm, but I have to make some kind of sense of it all. Some clarity, or at least less grit in my eyes, would be very welcome. The ground feels shaky, all is weird - not all bad, oddly enough - but uncertain and I really want to be more normal, at some point.
So I am looking at local therapists names online, as encouraged by bunny. We do have some Find a therapist tools for Ireland, but these foolish people have not included IF as a specialty. I mean, really!
These people don't come with reviews, more is the pity. That would be so handy. Say a star system, like hotels? I'd like a good-ish one, nice and clean and with good views (groan). Three stars would be fine.
Even the wonderfully gossipy boards.ie doesn't allow names to be mentioned. (You have to wonder if some of these threads are real. Some take on an Onionesque quality: Dublin Ghost Hunter claims he was attacked by a spirit (?).)
Back later, less moaningly, I hope. (I've been working on Smokey, the film again. It's turning into something - not sure what - but it's a thrill.)