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August 2014

angst

How goes it, folks? It's a strange, uncertain time, isn't it? I feel like I am being held together by powdered barleygrass*, meditation and sellotape. Sure, I have opinions on the awful state of the world lately, but nothing new or interesting to add. My response seems to be to have never-ending exam dreams. Every flipping night: 
What, I have to do maths and physics exams? I have to do a French exam? But I don't remember those! Also, I am in my mid-forties. How can this be? 
Can we move on please, subconscious? Or I will actually retake my Leaving Certificate (hilarious Irish name for final exams at school. We, the Irish government, certify that you.. left. We really couldn't comment on whether you learnt anything or not. You did leave, though. Well, bye, now.) and see if that works.

It is a strange time to be alive. Although, truth to tell, I've always been flummoxed by the oddness of it all, haven't you? It's so strange. Why is life this way and not another? I can't get over it. My tombstone should say: Well, that was all very odd.

It's not all bad, au contraire. I am working at my comics, in a speedy, barleygrass fueled way, and going out at night. There are nice people out there, muddling through just like me. We are not alone. Dublin has a wannabe Berlin vibe just now; you could go to something different every night for six months. Also, all our adoption papers are now processed and in file in our agency, and though I have discovered that this part of the process has it own particular flavour of anxiety/excitement attached to it, we are just so happy to be at this point at last. 

I have a very welcome sense of reprieve, in general. My parents seem somewhat well-ish for the moment; they are enjoying the summer. That virus which caused my mother so much discomfort (and to lose a stone in weight) this winter seems to have disappeared, she is able to do what she needs to; it was not permanent. Tremendously relieving. It seems we can delay for the moment the plan to convert their stables into a flat for me and the JB so we can be beside them for moral and other support. 

As usual, I am flirting with the idea of getting a job job. So far I have applied to be a designer for the souvenir industry, part-time (Read: Leprechauns!) No response so far, perhaps mercifully. Also something else: one of those in-company type ones. I can't recall. Also no response. Possibly all this is a dream, and I am actually back in school, studying in lackadaisical fashion for my maths exam.

How are you?
T

*Da bomb. I HAVE ENERGY.