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January 2016

news

I may have to fire Mystic Twangy, although seeing as life can only be understood in retrospect, who knows, maybe some of it was right.

Wednesday was not the ideal day, shall we say. The Betty head was upon me all last week, with its usual lack of focus and interest in only the most menial tasks. On Wednesday I stabbed my finger on my new food processor blade. Sure, it has CAUTION SHARP BLADE written on it, but it was submerged under the sudsy water and I grabbed the treacherous thing in an ill-fated attempt to wash up, and GAH GAH GAH. And then, as I was feebly walking to choir, feeling quite sorry for myself hampered by my throbbing finger, BAM I got the email from the agency saying Another Lady (Apologies for this, will do better in future. I don't like being called a lady, myself, after all.) had chosen another Irish family,  A WEEK AGO, and agency person had been sick and bedridden, very nearly DEAD I can only presume, and solemnly promises that such a delay in communication would not happen again. I feel annoyed by it now, but at that moment I dissolved into tears on the pavement, turned around and went home. (I hate being angry with people. I was trying to work out why yesterday, and concluded that I hate to people to disappoint me or make me angry because then I'm afraid I will have to not like them anymore, blimey this is getting increasingly whackadoodle, and I dunno, will end up friendless, alone and living under a bridge. My parents did not deal with anger very well, it has to be said. It was expressed in bursts, and then Not Mentioned, so I don't know what is supposed to happen after the bursty bit. Apparently you can get over it in a way that doesn't rankle forever more, but I wouldn't know.)

So we're back to square 53, which is I suppose better than 1. Baby is so near and yet so far. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MOVING ON, I offer you my New Year's resolutions, which this year are vaguely philosophical in tone (and nice and hard to measure):

  1. One thing at a time. (ie no media stacking, self.)
  2. Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.
  3. Eat more raw food

That should cover it. Tell me yours? If you have any.
More time has passed and I am now in the co-working place. (Or space, as The Young People call everything.) It is nice to be out. I feel normal. Also YAY, lunchtime!
^_^
T


no news

..which I feel might be good news. Who knows? Something must be Up - the birth mother struggling with her decision or her family not helping - I don't know. It's best we don't, I think, it would only add stress (the worst sort, you have no control over) to the already tricky hurry-up-and-wait situation we find ourselves in. My heart goes out to the birth mother. What a time for her. 

I liked Adele's comment about the Acquisition of Baby Stuff. I do find it reassuring to know that The Stuff necessary for baby-minding is not that (necessarily) complicated, although no doubt you could spend a king's ransom if you really wanted to. My brother's partner will have Stuff in the Attic, I feel sure; this will fall into place, somehow. We are otherwise ready. The garden wilderness needs some work so the hawthorn does not crack and collapse on the kitchen roof one night (So very many very wet named storms. We are on H already, I think). But the house is ready - there's a single bed in the back room for whomever comes to stay with the cat while we are away, spare keys are cut, room on shelves is made. (Has anyone any experience of animal-minders by the way? I don't know whether to get one from one of the pet-minding sites, or just ask on Facebook. I do know quite a few Young People who might enjoy living here for a couple of months, being a full-time butler to the cat. Will they burn the house down though? (I don't mind if they Have Parties. As long as I am far away.) Hmm.)

 Other than that, I am having some difficulty returning to full speed at work, are you? I am between big projects, trying to gear up for a new one and kind of occupying myself with marketing and advertising, which though essential, feels like faffing. But! I have offers of work for this year, and things are looking up.

I hope you are all well, and things are looking up for you, too. A very Happy, Prosperous and Healthy New Year, full of Good Things, to all who visit here. Thank you for your company.

xx

T