all hallows

it's the most [insert adjective] time of the year


 Well, it's a funny ould life, isn't it?

I am not weighed down with grief exactly, it's more like it's constantly consuming a small percentage of my RAM and bonhomie. At this time of the year, predictably enough, I'm more conscious of it. A packet of (that weird, salty) liquorice on a cafe shelf, for instance, and I think, I won't be buying that this year. Who likes it, apart from my father? No one. (Well, maybe some Dutch people, eh, Valery?)

And yet, here we are, having muddled through another December. Somehow all is ready for tomorrow and I feel peaceful and content.

Jay is a wonder. Finally he has seen the point of his feet, (other than greeting them with a HIYA when I take his socks off) and is using them for transport. He's so funny, rolling around the place like a drunken sailor, grinning and applauding himself. Magic.

I still have so many moments of pure surprise and delight when I re-realise (I mean. I do realise but this is a different level of realisation. I really realise. It suddenly seems REALLY real - oh shut up, me.) there's this fabulous hilarious bold toddler living with us and he's actually ours. He's our Jay-Jay. 

Oh my lucky, lucky stars.

Happy Christmas, all who visit here, I wish you every good thing this Christmas and new year.
Love from




The dimensions just keep adding with children. There is so much to enjoy before he turns into a surly, unresponsive, argumentative tween! Stock up on those memories - you'll need them! :)

I hope you have managed to wrangle some enjoyment out of your first holiday season without your Dad. It gets...not easier, but less intense, I suppose. The year my dad died, we scuttled our "New cocktail every Christmas Eve" plans and went straight "Let's go somewhere and have booze for Christmas Eve dinner!" We actually ended up in a bar one year, eating delicious gigantic burgers (none of us actually drink that much). Now, we just text each other photos of our versions of Dad's favorite tradition - the holiday highball. A drink had around 11 am of every holiday that helps you deal with the stress!


Of course I like liquorice! Thanks for remembering.
Sorry for falling off the web.
We survived the first anniversary of DP's father passing in December. At first his mother was completely denying it was a date to give attention to. But somehow between a cold and other plans she came over that weekend. We are lucky in that his father liked crackers with nice cheeses, so instead of cooked food we snacked on all things lovely. For people who don't really do emotions it means there are tensions about silly things. But I managed to hold my tongue, reminding myself they were thinking about something else without realising how much RAM / CPU they were needing to NOT talk or think about it.

hugs, VV

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